Guest Spot on InsideWink Podcast by Jean Trebek and Alison Martin

–Transcript–

Alison Martin: Hey, I think that’s it. Here we go.

Alison Martin: Okay. Say what you just said.

Jean Trebek: Oh, God.

Alison Martin: We want to get a vaccine for inside Wink, because we’re going viral. We don’t even really know what that means. That’s what’s so great about us.

Jean Trebek: That’s funny. I love seeing you laugh.

Alison Martin: Really? I feel very happy today.

Jean Trebek: Yeah, me too. Do you know why? Because we are interviewing Jill Renee Filler.

Alison Martin: It was actually because of Buddy. Oh, yes, buddy. Look, Jean’s daughter got a little puppy named Buddy, and we saw it yesterday. And I have to tell you, that little dog is a little piece of piece of work. We called him a little pocket.

Jean Trebek: He is the cutest little miniature Australian shepherd. And he is so perfect for Emily because she’s perfect. She’s just so wonderful. And this dog is wonderful.

Alison Martin: So and, you know, it’s a big change.

Jean Trebek: It is. I mean, sometimes you wonder, how should I have done this?

Alison Martin: And then everything changes and it seems to work out. It does. You know?

Jean Trebek: I think that’s something really good to remember, that things always work out.

Alison Martin: And things always change. There’s some times when you’re stuck in a feeling and you go, Oh, and then you realize, Oh, this is going to change, right? This is going to change. Okay, now who are we interviewing besides Buddy?

Jean Trebek: Oh, this beautiful friend of mine, Jill Renee Feller.

Alison Martin: Tell me a little bit about her. How did you meet her?

Jean Trebek: She was on a web seminar that I was listening to and that I still listen to John Burgos. And I just love Jill. I loved her out of the gate. And she is a really beautiful blend of practicality and owning your own spiritual sovereignty, not giving your power away, and all the while being very kind and respectful and loving.

Alison Martin: I actually loved this interview because she has strong ideals and beliefs and she’s positive and powerful. And I really I think you guys are going to enjoy this. So she’s amazing. Amazing. So so here she is.

Jean Trebek: So can you start from how you became interested in spirituality?

Jill Renee Feeler: Oh, there are so many ways to tell this story. And I’m guessing everybody that’s experiencing this can probably resonate with that. Let me just take a moment and try and describe it. I was and I’m still very right-brained, is the term that’s often used, very type-A, very achievement oriented, very competitive with myself type of person. And because of that, I have the ability to get kind of wrapped around the axle a little bit, high strung about things, overthink things. I don’t know if anyone here can relate to that.

Alison Martin: Not at all.

Jill Renee Feeler: There was a particular time, though, where I was very just uncertain about a different choice I wanted to make in my business career, my professional business career, and my sister in law, who’s much more open-minded about different ways of looking at things. She’s very she’s a novice, but very skilled at things like numerology, which I had never, you know, really taken an interest in, I’d never had an astrology reading or anything like that. So she’s over. We’re my husband and I and our kids were hosting probably like a Father’s Day or something like that. And she said, You look more stressed than usual. And I was like, Yeah, I’m trying to decide if I want to, you know, be the CEO of the screen company startup or if I’m going to stay in my perfect, cushy kind of startup corporate gig. And she goes, You should go see my psychic. And I was just thinking, Thanks, Julie. Like I was thinking in my head, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of, is what I’m thinking. But not saying right.

Jill Renee Feeler: I’m polite. Um, but lo and behold, a couple days later, I was thinking, what is the harm? Um, what could I lose by going to hear somebody else’s perspective? And it just I just, for whatever reason, became open minded about that idea. So I reached out to my sister in law and got that person’s name. I did get a session from that person and it was very good. It was very insightful. She was very wise about things. And her perspective was just really, really spot on.

Alison Martin: Um, wow.

Jill Renee Feeler: And remember, still some of the words that she said. She, she knew why I was there. She was not trying to guess, like, why I was there. She already knew. And she wasn’t pretending, you know, that she, that she was guessing that she said, But we meditated for a while. And remember, that was a very comical experience because I had never done that before. And I thought, what is she doing? I’m just sitting here. I’m supposed to be doing something. Um, and then eventually she started recording. And I have a similar handheld recorder now that I use all these years later. And she said, You know, anyone can be the CEO of that startup company, Jill, but no one else can be the mother to your daughters. And my kids were little. They were like five and two, I think, at the time. And I was just like, Oh, did not expect that answer. And she wasn’t being like, you know, anti-feminist or anything like that. She was just telling me what I needed a reminder to hear.

Jill Renee Feeler: And I’m still embarrassed that I needed that reminder, but I needed that reminder. So there was so much more that she just was very, um, every all the information she gave me was so relevant and so insightful. So I was already kind of giving her a lot of credibility. And then she said, You’re incredibly intuitive, like you’re really connected to the Jesus and the Mary Magdalene storyline, and you’re not even tapping into that. And I was just thinking, what is she talking about? You know? But it did it. That was kind of like a crack in my doorway of what was possible. And within weeks, I would say paranormal sort of things started to happen. My youngest one was reading my mind, demonstrating telepathy, um, in ways that were completely just obvious. Um, and it really kind of took my world in a lot of ways, but I didn’t want to let go of what was before my, my opening to this and to a broader way of looking at myself was not based on hitting rock bottom. It wasn’t based on an identity crisis. Right? So and I don’t want to discount the relevance of that for other people, but mine wasn’t like that. Um, so I don’t have that Byron Katie kind of story, right. Um, but I like it that I was sort of intact in a lot of ways, but was also missing out on a lot at the same time. So my journey into this wider version of myself wasn’t giving up anything that I was, but it was adding a lot to what I am. And that worked really well for me.

Alison Martin: And how did that look for you like? What is in your toolbox now that wasn’t there before?

Jill Renee Feeler: A lot. I’ve had so many practitioners you know channelers, mediums, intuitives, readers, healers now consult with me that they are reaching out to me for advice and wisdom and insight and support. Now I can see that my journey is unique, that I, I wanted my brain wanted to get perfect at these things and learn from all these people and read all these books. But it was a small part of me and there was a bigger part of me just really. It’s almost like self advising. Do not follow the path of other teachers. Figure this out on your own practice experiment. Be curious. Stay curious about how you are connected in these ways. And I did feel this really strongly and I’m getting goosebumps as I think about it. Be willing to disagree with even the most popular teachings you come across.

Alison Martin: Wow.

Jill Renee Feeler: Not to be adversarial, but to expand the choices of of how we can feel the connection to source and to God that we are. So that has served me well.

Alison Martin: That that must have been a little nerve wracking.

Jill Renee Feeler: It was. But yet, I think because I’m such a perfectionist and, you know, follow the, you know, dot the I’s and cross the T’s in so many other parts of my life… It actually felt fun to do this in a more curious, experimental, you know, color outside the lines sort of framework that I was giving myself freedom to do that in… Not reckless because I’m still a very responsible- my values and integrity and never wanting to steer somebody wrong but also willing to say my piece while respecting other people’s opinion to hear me, but also disagree with me. That I’m okay with that and that I actually encourage that if somebody disagrees with me. So that was it was actually fun, Alison, in so many ways because in a way, I felt like I couldn’t get it wrong as long as it felt like growth, love and positive intentions and a win win opportunity for everybody.

Alison Martin: Oh, that’s great. That’s great. It sounds like it would be freeing.

Jean Trebek: I was just going to mention that I think that is the real nugget – to not go with what everyone else is doing. I mean, if that is true for you. But to go – I don’t really feel that that’s right for me. And being able to stand on your own two feet and not make anyone else wrong but just honor that place within you that feels that way.

Alison Martin: Exactly. Jean. Jill, are you a channeler or are you a psychic? Are you all those things? Do you even put a label on things?

Jill Renee Feeler: I do what channelers do. I have always felt it as it’s a wider range of me as source that I’m connecting with. So to me it didn’t feel like an entity or an energy field that was separate from me. It felt like an extension of me. So I understand that that’s a bit unique compared to how some popular channelers do it.

Alison Martin: Yes, because I think sometimes at least some people that I’ve read about or that we’ve interviewed, it’s almost like it has it could have a name or be outside. I don’t think they think it’s outside, but it feels like a name and almost like a different. So I love that you’re saying that it is an extension. Do you do you think everybody or everyone could do this?

Jill Renee Feeler: No, sadly, I really wanted that to be true. Because it’s clear how many people want to be able to feel as masterful about some of the strengths and abilities that I have demonstrated mastery in. But it’s clear to me that, well, guess one evidentiary way of looking at it is if more people had strength in it, they wouldn’t be studying for years and years trying to acquire these gifts. It would just be there. So I think there are some people that just have a natural voice, right? They’re just a natural vocalist. And then there are other people that are still working with vocal coaches. 20 years on, still not confident enough to sing, even in a church choir, right? So just kind of look at it like that. To me, it’s not better than or more evolved than I don’t put this on a spiritual evolutionary path, linear path at all. And I’m, I don’t want to say frustrated, really disappointed that so many people do because just because they may not have a propensity for some of these strengths does not mean they’re any less evolved as soul, as spirit or as they’re human.

Alison Martin: Right. I love that because I think sometimes you read a lot of websites that say anyone can do this, just tap in, you know, anyone. You’re kind of like, no. For instance, I can’t sing. I have friends that can sing beautifully and there it is, you know?

Jill Renee Feeler: And you probably, to continue this analogy, you probably don’t feel less than whole and complete because you don’t sing. And yet in spiritual communities and in consciousness communities and self-help communities, that is such an issue. There are so many people that, in my opinion, give channelers or healers or readers way too much credit in terms of, Oh, well, they can do that, so they must be further along, they must have be closer to God. They must. There’s a lot of assumptions that are baked into that, to the disadvantage of the sovereignty of that individual. And to me, that’s a really big disadvantage.

Alison Martin: It’s like a specialness that you think we’re all special, but we all have different gifts.

Speaker4: Yeah, there.

Jill Renee Feeler: Yes, I remember teaching a class. It was in San Francisco a long time ago, um, probably ten years ago. And this…we’re still friends today… and she said, Well, Jill, we can’t all be special. And I remember just saying, why not? Not special doesn’t have to mean less than 100% of the population, but special implies value. Oh, I want everyone to feel special. Right?

Jean Trebek: There’s this great quote that I don’t know who said it, but we’re either all special or no one’s special. Not all of us can be special, right?

Jill Renee Feeler: But I get that the human brain is so regularly, um, placing someone else ahead of themselves. There’s such an emphasis, and it’s that whole grass is always greener, right? So, part of my strength is the ability to see where the brain is deceiving the individual, the client at their disadvantage, right? And holding them back from trusting themselves, from being curious, from expansion, from exploration of more than they are.

Alison Martin: Right. And I like on your website where you say you’ve done this forever and not not been healed…So I love that, that you’re just very, very honest. And, you know, you remind me of my niece, who’s a kindergarten teacher and all the kids in the classes that she has. From the quirkiest to the quietest to the loudest, you’ll say, Hey, what’s that kid’s name? And she’ll tell you and she’ll say, Well, the great thing about them and it feels like to her, everybody’s special. Like there’s no level of – that kid’s a little too loud or that kid’s a little too quiet. And I love that you’re saying that.

Jill Renee Feeler: My favorite people do that. My favorite people make everybody feel special, not out of a trick or a con. It’s because they actually experience them that way. Right. I think that Jesus was that way. I feel like source energy in its purest essence is that way.

Jill Renee Feeler: It’s hard here. Right? So for anyone to help you feel like you are unique, like you have inherent value. I love that. And when that’s easy and I do feel like it is easy for some of us to give ourselves permission to do our part in offering that experience to other people, that we see them that way, to possibly help them feel that way more themselves if they do need some support in that area, you know, like everybody wins, those humans with insecurities end up being harmful to themselves and to others, whether it’s intentional or not, insecurities breed a lot of different kind of subversive thoughts. Subversive energies, subversive actions.

Jean Trebek: You have some amazing classes offered on your website. And I’ve taken, I think, a couple of them. Is there there anything you can share that you were like, oh my goodness, I never thought of of this reality that way?

Jill Renee Feeler: There are so many, Jean. Let me try and pick some of my favorites. Um, one that’s coming up right here is this idea that there are energies that incarnate without the intention of growth, without the intention of acquiring further consciousness or further evolution or expansion. There are actually energies that incarnate in this reality just to see what will happen without a growth or even positive objective. So that to me is very important for individuals in a beautiful community like yours to be aware of because it helps explain more of the people that we tend to come across in society… It’s not that they’re aimless, it doesn’t have to mean negativity. It just means they’re not as purposeful in – what are you doing to work better on yourself? What are you doing to make the world a better place? Right? They’re just kind of like, Why are you working so hard? It’s kind of how they look at people like us. Like, wow, you could just be chilling here, you know? Right. And that conveys nothing about the knowledge and wisdom and breadth and depth of their soulfulness, the fact that in this incarnation that we may be encountering, they may seem like they’re literally like a college kid on vacation perpetually and may never go back to class.

Jill Renee Feeler: So that’s one thing that was a big aha for me. Another one that comes up is that as incarnated energy, we can be more than one soul. We can be sort of a pantry full of accessible source energy that we may or may not pull from all those items on the pantry. I don’t know how many of us are like that, but…What if it is a huge number? But what if it’s everybody? And especially in a community like yours, what if almost everybody in this community actually has access to everything that Jesus was? And what if that doesn’t offend Jesus? What if that makes Jesus excited? That you could be what I was and more. You could be what I was. Well, to me, Metatron is an incarnate energy. But some people may disagree with that. But let’s pick Quan Yin. You could be everything that Leonardo da Vinci was and more. There’s such a limitlessness in that whole idea. So that came through for me when I heard somebody say that they were the reincarnation of I think it was like Edgar Casey. And immediately my inner knowing was, Well, that’s not true. I mean, they don’t own Edgar Casey. You know?

Alison Martin: Right.

Jill Renee Feeler: And it’s just kind of like, how does that work then? And then I realized there’s like this funnel sort of energies that we can be. And it’s in that original composition of each of us, where we get to kind of play with a lot of sort of known beings and non known non-named sort of energies. Um, and that it’s a nice kind of collaborative effect.

Jill Renee Feeler: And…No one had to incarnate. No, no energies had to incarnate. There’s growth and contentment, there’s satisfaction far beyond this reality and far beyond any incarnation. So no one had to incarnate and therefore no one has to reincarnate. And that one was a still a mind blower for me because it’s so counter to what the vast majority of spiritual practitioners are involved in.

Alison Martin: So. So can you expand on that a little bit for me? So.. Do you think there is a “someone”? First off, do you know what I mean?

Jill Renee Feeler: Yeah, I do. I prefer to consider that “the all that is” as source energy is beyond space and time. Right? So it’s, it’s almost like it’s beyond one in a way has a delineation to it in my heart and in my conception of it. So to me “one” even has a space time kind of component to it. Um, but I do believe in, if you will, a higher power, a benevolence that is all energy and that that often doesn’t show up that way, doesn’t look that way in this reality.

Alison Martin: And that we are all a part of that love and benevolence.

Jill Renee Feeler: You can’t not be a part of that love

Alison Martin: Because it’s all that is.

Jill Renee Feeler: Yeah.

Alison Martin: And so do you think yeah. You know, we have a group of women that meet and talk about this sort of stuff, which is really interesting. And we’re reading a book on physics and consciousness right now. And it’s so interesting because it talks about exactly what you’re saying that there is just this creative, constantly creative, as you said, benevolent force that is us, that we’re just like, you know, like one facet of the diamond. So I love that you say he does not own Edgar Casey, because I have heard so many people in groups say, you know, I was Cleopatra and I was King Arthur. You know, I was I was the guy with the horse.

Jill Renee Feeler: Maybe Cleopatra gets around.

Alison Martin: That is so true.

Jill Renee Feeler: Bless her. Bless her.

Alison Martin: She’s all over the place. You can’t keep her down. Yeah. That’s so funny. What do you do in your courses? Do you give readings? Do you help people? What do you do?

Jill Renee Feeler: The courses. And there’s so many at this point because there were so many different sort of nudges that I felt to share sometimes not not being exactly sure what was going to come through, but just setting a space for it and putting a name on it and an overall objective and just see what happens. So there’s well over 30. There might even be more than 50 courses that are on the website and some I’ve already made free just on like a podcast A podcast used to be literally my top selling course and think it was June of 2022. I was just led to give it away for free.

Alison Martin: So beautiful.

Jill Renee Feeler: Thank you. Um, but I’m not really a how-to kind of person, and I’ve noticed that from a business standpoint that doesn’t serve me well because how-to classes are very, very popular. How to clear your energy field, how to activate your Kundalini, how to activate your 29th strand DNA or whatever that is. So how to classes are very clear and I know why because I get it. Why people sell them and I get it. Why people buy them. Because from the brain it’s like, I know what that is. And yes, I do want to know how to do that. And yes, I’ll do the course. Right? So mine are a bit maybe harder to understand, but I have found consistently that individuals that participate in my course work, they are regularly expanded far beyond any of the Library of How-To classes they’ve accumulated over the sometimes the decades of work that they’ve been doing. So they come away with a different state of self, which allows all of that how-to to have more room to sit. Because it’s clear to me that with some of the people that are newer to my work, when I ask them like how many, how many How-To classes have you done? And they’re like, I can’t even count. And I’m like, Well, how are you doing? And how those how-tos and their brains still isn’t giving them permission because their brain is still not rooted in a sense of self that already is source energy.

Jean Trebek: That is it. You know, That’s it. And, um, Jill, did you have a knowingness about your godliness, as you you call it, your soulfulness. Were you like in the market one day and holding a, you know, holding a broccoli head and I Am one with the Broccoli? What was your experience of… If you don’t mind…. Because I also know that you can’t get it through the brain… It’s beyond your human structure to actually become aware of the godliness you are. And most of us do operate and move through our world with just an intellectual… But I feel for you- you are deeper. Somehow your soul was either ready in this lifetime or whatever it was to awaken to more godliness. And that is what you’re sharing. Because my take away from you, Jill, has always been my sovereignty as a soul. I think that is what you’re always eliciting to everyone. Is that – you are God incarnate. Don’t sell yourself short. You know, you are that. We are that that we’re looking for. Right. Going back to you, Jill, did you you know what took it deeper for you?

Jill Renee Feeler: I do feel like it was part of the way I designed myself, and that has always been a theme of my work is in everything that I’m doing as that wider sense of myself that I often refer to in the in the sense of we, what we are always working for and towards is helping remind humanity what they are, which is source energy. You can’t not be source energy. Right. And I, I, I’m well aware and I’m very able to articulate how the brain gets that twisted, gets that confused, says, No, no, that can’t be right because. Or no, what about or let’s see, I can’t process that. So let’s just continue on this litany of how to kind of pathways. Um, I think if I really look back on it, I never had an existential crisis. I feel like there always was a part of me that just knew and didn’t have a reason to doubt it, didn’t have a reason to question it, but also didn’t really have an impetus to embody it or share it or inspire it within others and tell that sort of like a flip switch or like a, you know, a light in the closet that, Oh yeah, there is a light in this pantry. I forgot that that was there.

Jill Renee Feeler: That’ll make it a lot easier to see. And then you click it on and you’re like, Oh, wow, this is fun. This is different, right? But up until that, you know, so for 0 to 38 years, um, I can be very…Confident in spirit…Can be very disconcertingly clear if that comes across. I remember being as an adult, I read like 98% of the Bible in like eight months. A friend of mine invited me into this Bible study. We were just each individually kind of parallel doing a Bible study. And I kind of tend to go all in when I do certain things, not in a way that’s neglectful of other parts of my life, but just have the capacity to go really deep in certain things. And that was one. And I just remember being like, Oh, well, yeah. And this woman who invited me into this Bible study, (my youngest was probably one at the time, so that would have been 2003). She was saying something. She was still carrying around this thought of her savior story of how Jesus saved her and how she still has this sin. And I just remember looking at her and I’m only, you know, new to this in some ways. And I said, Well, I thought he died for that. Like, what are you doing? Right? And she wanted to be the the mentor.And I was supposed to be the mentee. And yet I was really calling BS on her storyline that she was at odds with the entire New Testament that she was believing in. And since then, I have a different appreciation for what Jesus really was about, what He was really here for, and what his life really meant and what it still means today. Um, and it is about dying. It isn’t about dying for sins and things like that. But I appreciate the that the Christian faith, that’s their story and they’re sticking to it. And it’s too risky for them to stay away from the Bible. So in so many ways, in my opinion, they’re worshiping the Bible and not worshiping God, but they’re very rigid. And I get why. Anyway, um, so my ability to be super clear about what feels right to me and why and being able to defend it in a way and it, it can be uncomfortable for some people that want it to just be more like, no, I want you to support what I believe. And I’m like, No, I support your ability to believe what you believe, but I’m not going to help you defend your beliefs if I think that they’re not serving you and the Godness that you are. I can be very opinionated about this, as Jean knows.

Alison Martin: I love it. You would have been a good CEO, too.

Jill Renee Feeler: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alison Martin: So can you tell me what do you. You said your thought of Jesus has evolved. Where are you with that now? I’m so interested in hearing that.

Jill Renee Feeler: Oh, I’ve done some really. Those are some of my favorite series where Jesus comes through as the brother, as the best friend, as the one who wants to be the biggest champion of humanity. All of humans. Right? All of humanity, past, present and future. And that he did sacrifice a lot for the journey that he had. He knew it would be controversial. He knew he could be killed for it. He ended up being killed for it. But it wasn’t why he lived. It wasn’t why he was here. He was here because he had something very important to God to say to humans. He did that in a fire and brimstone Old Testament sort of way in a lot of expressions of him. And yet he was so devoted and so likable and yet unlikable at the same time. So this kind of rose colored glasses view of him that he was only, you know, the soft kind, you know, gentle one with the lamb and the children sort of thing. He was very intimidating and he did have a temper. And his temper was not pretty. Right. So my evolved sense of him is that he’s far more accessible today. I know Jesus so much better now than I ever did as a devout Christian. And I don’t say that with contempt for Christianity. I say that with hurt in my heart that those that claim to defend him don’t even know him personally, except through a supposed book that was supposedly blessed by these individuals that supposedly knew him and supposedly spoke for him.

Jill Renee Feeler: It’s it’s just heartbreaking in a way that they don’t have more than what we all deserve in terms of that sense of. We are so loved beyond measure. There’s nothing that we could do that would cast us out of God’s grace and God’s love. And to me, that’s what His life is about. But you wouldn’t know it by a lot of the modern day interpretation of Christianity. And just I feel like he is frustrated by that. I feel like it’s just like, Oh, seriously? You know what I mean? Like, he’s like, Oh, you know what I mean? Yeah. So I love the humor that comes through when I’m when I’m allowing that layer of, of us to come through. Um, and I love how. Yeah, he’s very humorous, very, um, charming, very welcoming. And so. So, yeah, I don’t know if I can explain it better than that, but Jean, one of the, my favorite series that I know you and I were both a part of is the Mary Magdalene series, where Mary and Jesus were both coming through with such… You could just feel their love for each other. You could feel their love for us. And it does. It resets our rhythm in a way that is so calming and so affirming. It’s so connecting.

Jean Trebek: Yeah, I remember. Jill. You brought through Mother Mary. And my big takeaway from that was when she says, you know, it’s been told that you can’t love another truly without loving yourself. And she was like – I’m not I’m not all on board with that saying. You can absolutely love another and still struggle with your own self-acceptance. And I remember when I heard that, I thought, oh, that is so beautiful and liberating because there are times that I don’t love myself. And yet I go, oh, you know, I’ll doubt – well then can I love Alison or love Matthew my children or… And when she said that I thought that rings true for me now.

Jill Renee Feeler: That was huge And thank you so much for remembering that, Jean, and for offering it in this context that that one is still. That’s such a big one. I completely agree.

Alison Martin: I think it’s amazing that because I totally agree with you. I totally agree that like, I get the sense sometimes that people oddly forget that Jesus like was walking around. He was an incredibly dynamic person. But he was a person. Like, it wasn’t like, you know, like a UFO landed and, you know, and that’s the thing. I think God and spirit and energy wants to have all these experiences, wants to live and flourish. And I think that’s why people say- Why is it so? I don’t believe in God. Because there wouldn’t be anything bad going on if there was a God. And, you know, like, do you have a thought about that? Because I know what I think. But I would love, you know, that they say, well, how could a God do X if there was a God? How could X be happening? What do you what do you think about that?

Jill Renee Feeler: Thank you so much for asking that question because it is questions like that that an atheist or agnostic would would ask or their regular kind of counter moves, like in chess of theology or even philosophy that I actually love the most, because it’s sometimes those questions that I haven’t struggled with or I haven’t even thought about, and these answers just pop out from within that are just like, Oh, that’s a good answer. And to watch somebody be satisfied for the first time and maybe five decades of that being their best, their best checkmate. And you’re like, Actually, I have an answer for you to consider, right? And it’s not that answer, but I love to offer my answer. And if it fits for them and if it’s useful to them, wonderful. And if it’s not, that’s okay. Right? So my answer to that, and I’ll try and describe it as best I can, I think I’ve taught entire classes. I’ve probably talked for two hours on just that. Um, but if I were to summarize. Source energy was curious. Source energy is curious. And that implies, if you will, not all knowing that there are things that source energy is comfortable – I wonder what would happen if. Not knowing what would happen. And this reality, literally all of space and time version of this reality, was created within the context of “I wonder what would happen if I didn’t feel like me and if there were individuations of source energy”. And there was different knowings and different not knowings. And different strengths and different weaknesses. And what if it was created in the context of not even knowing what you are as source energy? What if there was a place where we didn’t know we are source? And we didn’t know what would happen. We as source designed it in love and positive intentions. And what we found out was that in the midst of this…  I don’t want to say “experiment” like we’re lab rats because we are the creator and the creation and we’re creating. Right? So we’re we’re both at the same time, but we’re in the experiment of space and time going, Oh, wow, guess we didn’t think about the fact or we didn’t predict that when Source Energy has created an individuation a self to be and it doesn’t know its source and therefore it doesn’t maybe know unconditional love in its incarnation, it can do awful, horrible things that don’t look godly at all. Right? And then we’re all like, oh. Yikes. Like that hurts. That hurt them. That hurt this person. That hurt me. That hurt someone I love. This is dangerous here, right? So an incarnation on Earth comes with a huge warning label, right? Is Look, I know you’re really, you know, excited about this incarnation. You’ve designed this you that you get to be, and you’re really excited you’re going to go on vacation, it looks like, because you don’t really have a lot of goals. Okay? You don’t even want to learn, like, more than one language. Okay, that’s good. That should be easy. But just be careful down there because you never know what’s going to happen. Even Source Energy doesn’t know what will happen. This reality is risky. So for me, the risk mitigator is that as our source energy, we’re always intact. We’re un-harmable as our source energy. And we would have never designed it any other way. Right. Right. So. There’s a lot of ways to explain that. But that to me is sort of the explanation I like best, is that this isn’t when something horrible happens in this reality, to me it is not God energy saying, Well, you had that coming to you.

Alison Martin: Yeah, you blew it.

Jill Renee Feeler: That’s karma. You deserve that. Or you did that in another lifetime. So that having to happen to you here, there’s all these rationalizations that different theologians and philosophers and practitioners, spiritual teachers have come up with. And to me, when I hear those explanations, I’m like, I disagree. It to me that’s not true. And here’s why. It doesn’t even make sense to me why that would be true. But I get it that it’s sort of a when I tell people like I don’t believe in karma, they’re like. I don’t understand. What do you believe? If you don’t believe in karma, I believe this s-h-i-t. I don’t know if you guys swear on this Podcast. Shit happens for no reason with no warning, with no causation. It just happens, right? Without logic or reason. So when shit happens to me, the last thing I do is, Well, what’s going on here? What’s the message? What’s the sign? What does this mean? What is this shadow? What is the… I’m not looking for meaning in every little thing in this reality because so much of that happens in this reality and that’s offered in this reality and that we experience in this reality had no meaning.

Jill Renee Feeler: And to me, when people doubt that, I’m like, okay, think if somebody follows you around with a camera today, think of how many things you did without intention, without specific meaning. Can you imagine ten people on a panel decoding every single thing you did as if it had meaning, right? Well, she’s brushing with her right hand again. So clearly her left hand does not brush her teeth because she never uses her left hand. So there we go again. You know what I mean? It would just be it would be ridiculous. We would be laughing at the implication of meaning in every little thing. So the idea that there’s this grander application that, well, maybe not everything we do has meaning, but certainly everything in the universe has meaning. I’m just like, Wow, that’s very, very…That has a lot of problems with it, right? So this became more clear to me the more I was doing client work. And I was so heartbroken by the clients that had cancer for the second or third time, and they’re just like. I need to know what the lesson is. Because clearly I’ve done something wrong again. Because I have cancer…for The third effing time. Yeah. What am I missing? And I’m like, Oh, okay, you’re personalizing this. That you had this coming to you, that this was somehow a contract that you made, that you can avoid getting cancer by having learned certain lessons, by living in a certain way. And then I just pause as I reflect and connect with their, if you will, elements of Source Energy. What do you want me to tell this beautiful being that is blaming herself again for something that she happened to get from a gene mutation, a genetic mutation cell, a mutated cell that just is able to proliferate, which is what cancer is. Right. She’s making it about her. So then I just pause and I let the source energy use, you know, work with my Jill to offer what they want her to know, which normally comes across something as what if this is just a horrible thing? That you never deserved. That you don’t deserve that. We’re sad about, too. And the grace. Then there’s room for God’s grace, right? And then the brain goes, Well, I hate that answer, but actually love that answer. And then they can use all of their energy field to doing what they can to beat it this time, to get better, to be loving of themselves and loving of other people and stop continually adding to the punishment that the cancer is already offering them. Right. And just let it be another effed up thing that can happen in this reality that is not personal.

Alison Martin: You know, I feel like jumping through this screen – Jean would know this – and hugging you because that has been my real pet peeve of mine when I’ve heard “sick mind, sick body”. And I go, I just don’t believe that. I believe, like, as you said, shit happens and then you have to lean in to love and not blame. And I’ve done something wrong. And I can’t believe you just said that so clearly you gave me chills. And it’s exactly, exactly what I what I’ve always thought. And you really just validated it for me. So thank you so much.

Jill Renee Feeler: You’re so welcome. Love to put into words or to try to put into words some of these very important things. Humans deserve really good answers to these things anI don’t like a lot of the answers that apparently I’ve been given in all these beautifully intended, designed disciplines and philosophies and religions. I love that there was attempts to provide important answers to these things. I just don’t like a lot of the answers that were given, and I’m not mad at anybody about it. I just wanted more items on the menu. I wanted more answers to be on the menu so that people have better choices.

Jill Renee Feeler: I don’t I don’t care what people choose. I really respect the sovereignty of each individual. But when I look at a menu of options to answer those important questions and I’m like, I don’t think any of those are going to help somebody feel closer to the God energy they are. And its love and its grace and its compassion and its originality and its gloriousness, right? So that’s my goal. That that’s a great menu item is one that does all of those things. Because when an individual is acting more as the gloriousness of God that they are, everybody wins…everybody wins. And that is not about perfectionism. That is not about idealism. And my brain had a hard time with that because my brain was like, well, how how are you? How how is it possible that I do have gifts and this, this and this, and I’m still not great at that, that and that, right?

Jill Renee Feeler: And I’m like, I don’t know, I don’t know. But it just is. So my view was able to give myself the grace and compassion that I’m not pretending to be perfect in A to Z, but I know what I’m really, really good at and I’m okay that I’m not great at everything. I’m not trying to be great at everything. And I feel like that’s another liberating kind of idea within spirituality and consciousness that I wish more people knew about. Even impatience. I remember being hard on myself because I was impatient and finally that what I call my team, that source energy range of myself was like, Well, if you were patient, you probably wouldn’t be as impulsive about just spitting out ideas of wisdom that just come to you from nowhere within yourself, right? If you were patient, you probably wouldn’t be sharing. You probably wouldn’t have all the classes you have. You probably wouldn’t have had the three books. You probably would have never started your YouTube channel in 2009. Right? So your impatience is serving you well. You have a lot to say and your impatience helps you get to really good stuff before a patient version of you would have ever gotten to. Right? Is it messy in ways? Is it maybe. Could I have said it better? Could I be doing more books and that kind of thing? Yeah, 100%.

Alison Martin: Yeah. Yeah. I applaud you. I applaud you, Jill.

Jill Renee Feeler: Yeah, it’s a system that works. I know that.

Alison Martin: It’s great. You’re wonderful.

Jean Trebek: We’re so blessed that you said yes to our podcast. Jill, you’re. You’re just. Amazing. And I love you. And. What what what would be your answer to this question? Cake, pie or ice cream? What’s your favorite?

Jill Renee Feeler: Oh, that’s such a hard question. You made this really hard. I think pie. I’m a big pie person. I do love ice cream, but normally I don’t have ice cream, just plain. And my husband teases me about this all the time because you’ll never find me with just a bowl of, like, vanilla ice cream. It has to have something in it, right? Chips or something. Sprinkles, even something. Some texture to go with the rest of it. So pie always has that diversity of texture, which I really like.

Speaker4: I love that.

Jill Renee Feeler: I love that I’m really analyzing this. I’m like, Well, you got the crust. You normally have more than one feeling in it, even if it’s chocolate cream pie because it’s got the cream on top and chocolatey pudding-ish part.

Alison Martin: That. I love that. You’re like, Oh, I can answer about Mary Magdalene. I can answer about the state of the world. But pie, cake or ice cream. You stumped me.

Jill Renee Feeler: Yeah. Pie.

Alison Martin: I love that. Great. So wonderful to talk to you. Thank you so much.

Jill Renee Feeler: Oh, you guys. Thank you. So and just blessings to everything that you’re doing. Jean, I hope I get to see you again soon. I missed you so much. That’s. I just really treasure our times together. And Alison, I hope, get to meet you in person at some point. I would love that.

Alison Martin: I would love that. Thank you so much, Jill.

Jill Renee Feeler: Thank you so much, you guys.

Alison Martin: Okay. I enjoyed her so much because she’s unwavering. She has an idea and a thought and a belief. And she says it even if it’s not mainstream, you know. She’s like a spiritual CEO.

Jean Trebek: Oh, I love that you.

Alison Martin: Here’s what I think. And, you know, I want to hear what you think.

Jean Trebek: I want to hear what you think as well. And not my way is the only right way. But here’s something I offer you to kind of open up your… there could be another way to think about this. And whatever feels right to you is is awesome.

Alison Martin: Right? I think what you just said makes me realize I like it when people give me a new thought that makes me reconsider what I had been thinking. Because then I realize there were a lot of options to getting closer to my God self, to my higher power, to nature. There’s a lot of options open, right? That’s what I really liked…some of her thoughts I really hadn’t heard.

Jean Trebek: Right. And how much courage that takes to just speak your truth and I’m sure Jill at times has felt a little- if I rock the boat, so be it. And, you know, to thine own self be true. But she’s just wonderful. And I also love that she is a practicing real estate agent. And she also has this amazing gift of channeling. And also she does private sessions. She’s just an all around balanced, beautiful inside and out woman.

Alison Martin: I see why you like her, because you have a very similar thing. And yet you guys compliment each other. Well, you know?

Jean Trebek: She was the one I went on on the Egypt trip. Yeah.

Alison Martin: That must have been fabulous, right?

Jean Trebek: We were so blessed to have her.

Alison Martin: You were on the Nile.

Jean Trebek: I was on the Nile with Jill and my son Matthew and a whole host of other wonderful people.

Alison Martin: I have not been on the Nile.

Jean Trebek: Okay, well.

Alison Martin: I’ve been on the Harlem River when I was younger. That’s about it. Well, I thank you so much for listening. And that’s it. I just want to give another shout out to little Bud.

Jean Trebek: Yes, Buddy, Buddy.

Alison Martin: Okay. All right. Have a good day.

Jean Trebek: Bye bye.